Intro- What's the point?

"Try Isagenix."  Ugh.
Since returning from NYC, I have been literally surrounded by people who regularly use or sell this  'cleanse' and weight loss product. I do not sell this product, I do not use this product, I do not believe in starving, and I think my body looks pretty darn good, especially compared to where it was a couple of years ago when my emotional life had hit an all-time low and I hit my highest weight and body fat percentage to date.


That said, I will try to explain why I am about to invest time and money into trying it for myself.

#1- I almost didn't recognize the lady I live with when I got back from New York- she lost 23 pounds since June.  I bought her a sweater for Christmas from the plus-size store, and she is wearing a size 8 now and she has enough energy to do a thorough gym routine 4 times a week, even on "cleanse" (read: fasting with high quality vitamins) days.

#2- People who truly care about me are asking me to try it and think that it will make me healthier.  When I do the research, it does seem like more complete nutrition than what I find in the vitamin aisle at Henry's.  And I don't have to swallow pills to do it.

#3-  When I look at all of my long term goals, more than half of them could be benefit from my losing those last 15 pounds and getting to the my goal "healthy" body fat percentage (which I consider to be 19%).  This has been my goal for quite some time, and I can't imagine getting there while resting on this plateau that I've hit since coming back from NYC.

#4- I've been praying for a supplement to my income and more time, space, and freedom;  I'd be a fool to thumb my nose at the opportunity without giving it a fair examination, and I guess that means trying it myself for a while.

#5- I have specific health goals that I need to accomplish and I'm willing to see if this will work- kicking the ritalin habit is at the top of my list, curing my stress-related intestinal troubles, and having enough energy to get through 12-14 hours of being awake (which is a HUGE challenge for me, even with the ritalin these days) are also up there.  Maybe getting rid of some toxicity will help with that.

So I'm going to fork over the wholesale cost of a 30-day cleanse program, and maybe I'll even get a little spiritual cleansing as well. 

Below is a timeline, if you care to know how I got here today (which is nowhere, yet, really) follwed by a list of my concerns with this program.

SPRING AND SUMMER 2009
I was put on Ritalin, which is intended to help with ADD while driving (I used to crash a lot) but had the awesome side effect of energy booster and appetite suppressant.  This miracle drug helped me focus on what was important and took the hunger away, so I ate well and exercised regularly and lost about 25 pounds in six months. I was focused on healing and getting my life back.

WINTER 2009
The beginning of the end of my dance teaching job.  My program was cut down to 4 dance classes instead of five, meaning I was making only 80% of my regular salary.  On top of that, I was trying to pick up the financial pieces of the mess I had gotten myself into.  I was living very cheaply in a room in somebody's house (God bless Penny Egan) and I was grateful, but miserable, because I'm way too independent to have someone constantly in my business.  I started thinking about MLMs to possibly supplement my income.  My friend from work had me try Monavie, but it was freaking expensive and I didn't feel any better using it.  I looked into makeup, like Avon or Mary Kay, but I couldn't get over the fact that I'd rather wear MAC anyday than even the best of their cosmetics.  Considered Bodywise, which my dad has distributed for years and years, but I hate taking pills and Bodywise says you need to take 6 vitamins a day (3 in the a.m. and 3 p.m.) to be healthy, and they are GIANT PILLS.

I gave up looking and figured I was just being desperate and probably needed to focus my energy on conventional work.

SPRING 2010
The stress of my job (longgg story) and the general feeling of being imprisoned by my finances, legal issues, and living situation started taking its toll, I stopped taking the Ritalin regularly, stopped eating well, and I gained back twelve pounds over the 10-month school year.

Also at this time, I developed an muscle-spasm issue with my large intestine that was pretty annoying (it still hasn't gone away) and my gastroenterologist says that it is directly related to stress and can fall under the category of IBS, even though it doesn't manifest itself like most cases of IBS.

JUNE-JULY 2010
Having space, time, and freedom in New York helped me to focus on really sticking to my pill regimen, and, in turn, I was able to consume a very low-calorie diet, follow a motivated exercise plan, and lose 7 pounds in two months.  However, the pills don't have the same effect they once did, I'm starting to develop a tolerance, and I find myself groggy and hungry much faster than ever before.  Last year, I would have been able to lose about 2 pounds a week, this year I find that one pound is about all I can get.  (I know that's not the point, I should just be happy that I'm not crashing my car or angrily walking out of long meetings; but it was something that I started to count on as a way to stay fit, so this was quite a disappointing realization.)

JULY 2010
I started hearing about how everyone back home is trying Isagenix, and I let myself get signed up for $19 (which was gifted to me by Duke, because he was already making money from this company) as a "distributor" with the promise that I can cancel any time.  I start researching the product online and the ingredients look good, but it looks prohibitively expensive and way too much like starvation.  This is one of those things that I decided to like for "other people," just not for me.

LAST WEEK
I listened to a presentation about how freaking toxic our lifestyles are (and also remembered the Food, Inc. documentary from Oprah)  and went all-organic with my grocery shopping. I discovered that Organic food tastes better than regular food.

Also last week:  I found out that the Isagenix millionaire who came to speak at the gym was the creator of Hogi-Yogi restaurants.  Um, frozen yogurt with Junior Mints was the best invention, ever, to me as a teenager, so I have to respect the guy for his brilliance.  His presentation was pretty good, and I learned that there really isn't starvation involved, and in fact the feeling of hunger really only happens when the body needs more nutrients, so I'm back on (sort of) board at this point, at least with the product.

TODAY
I was given a run-down of how exactly this business works and I asked a lot of questions. Here is a sampling of my smart-ass questions/concerns with this product.  (I wish I were more positive about this since I have no good reason to be so hostile without trying it, but here it is anyway)


Q:  Why is it spelled isagenix instead of isogenics?  It seems a little retarded.
A (I'm making this up, I didn't actually ask this out loud). Maybe it's because the best business people didn't necessarily do well in school...

Q: So can I lose ten pounds in 9 days?
A:  The average weight lost is 7 pounds for the 9-day cleanse, and 20 pounds for the 30-day, but we've had people lose more than that.


Q: How much of this stuff do I need to buy to be an associate?
A: About $100 worth every month, for your personal use or you can re-sell it; and it can be any combination of skin-care, cleanse, and nutrition products.  But you'll be replacing lots of meals, so take it out of your food budget. You wouldn't want to sell something that you didn't use anyway.
(I guess I already spend  that much at CVS and on my fancy protein powder - I love you dearly Jay Robb Whey Protein, but you don't put any vitamins in your shakes, so I'm going to have to stray for a month and try something new)

Q: Can I have a free sample?
A: No.  If I gave you a sample of one thing, you wouldn't get to feel the energy boost that you get from doing the whole system.  But you can buy a 30-day program and split it  with someone else and do it for 14 days each.

Q (sort of):  I can't afford it.
A:  It's less than $2.50 per meal, and all the meal replacement products are real food.
(Um, maybe if you're an ASTRONAUT this logic works.  In my opinion, even if you don't add all those weird chemicals, powdered food doesn't count to me as REAL food.  I watch top chef. Now THAT'S real food.)

A (part two): Also, if two people buy the product from you or your website in the first month of being with the company, they give you $150 as a start-up incentive.  (ok, that's cool.)

Q: How do I make money?
A:  The people who became distributors before you have added you underneath them to their "chain" of distributors.  Every time you OR they sign someone new up for the business (which costs a one-time fee of $19 and can be canceled any time, I was reassured), that new person is now underneath you (and the people above you) on the chain.  Once all the people underneath you have purchased a total of $900 worth of product, you get 6% of that mailed to you the next Monday.  It could happen hundreds of times each week and you'd be paid for each time, and you wouldn't even necessarily know, because you didn't HAVE to do the selling yourself and because you weren't the only one signing people up underneath you.

(This business model still gives me a headache, but the guy who showed it to me showed me HIS distributor web account and he does seem to be getting paid regularly for this).

So I haven't ordered it yet, but today is the day I decided to.  I have high expectations for this month besides the weight loss, and I'll be documenting them here if you want to follow along.