End of First Day

Well, I made it, and even went to the gym and even had some energy (which I wasn't expecting due to the stimulant withdrawals).  I'm still really struggling with focus, but the energy is promising.


Had a great organic lunch and a frozen vanilla milkshake with Ionix Supreme for dinner.  Vanilla wasn't as good on its own as it was with the chocolate, but I think I diluted it too much this time. A couple hours after dinner, I wanted to eat again, so I'm eating some Omega-3 chunky natural peanut butter  to try to up my fat intake a little, since lunch was mostly carbs and protein.  That makes my calorie intake a little higher than what they recommended for meals on the cleanse (they recommend 400-600 for lunch, I'm probably at 640 now).  But hey, it's day one.  Maybe I'll go for a walk before bed.

Tomorrow is a long day - audition in LA first thing in the morning, and I'll have to stay up late because we're going to see "In the Heights" in the OC at night.  Hope I make it through.

First Meal

I just went to the kitchen to start my first meal on the program.  I'm not going to lie, I was scared.  2 scoops of powder doesn't seem like a meal to me, no matter how "nutritionally complete" it is.  I put a scoop of chocolate and a scoop of vanilla into the Magic Bullet blender with ice and water, and got really sad.  "I'm going to be hungry so soon," I thought, and decided that the weight loss was worth the discomfort.  (I'm a breakfast person.  I eat real meals when I wake up every day and then I eat fruit and then I eat again two hours later.  This is a terrifying experience)

The shake tastes good. I am very thankful for that, because there will be two a day for awhile.  It actually tastes really good, and I'm picky.  (The only protein powder I'll use is super expensive because I refuse to take chalky tasting drinks).

Um, about halfway through the shake, though, something amazing happened.  I FELT FULL.  This is sort of crazy, first of all, because I could down 2 grande frappucinos with whipped cream on my way to breakfast any day, and I've had half a glass of this stuff and I don't want to eat anymore.  It's bizarre.
 
The problem is, it was too late to change my mind and only have half a shake, because there are live enzymes in the shake that get activated by water, so once it is made, you can't save it for later (they say to drink it within 10 minutes.)

So I took a little break and went to get the Ionix Supreme (that vitamin and mineral blend that I'm really excited about).  Because my powder version hasn't come in the mail yet, I'm borrowing the liquid version from Duke.  It's this brown liquid with a light syrupy consistency and a very strong scent of ginger.  I'm scared again.  I considered doing the thing where you hold your nose as you drink it.

The bottle says "tastes best poured over ice," and I only have to take a one ounce shot, so I pretend it's medicine and pour some out, using the kitchen scale to get the right amount.

It wasn't as bad as all that. It does taste too much like ginger for me to really enjoy, but it's only one ounce and it's not awful at all, just not delicious either. (I'm the girl who buys the gummy bear vitamins, remember?  I like things that taste GREAT).  And the label on this stuff is really impressive- I've spent hours comparing liquid vitamins and this has really good numbers and really good ingredients.  So I'll deal with it.  Maybe the powder will be better.

Back to the shake.  I had to finish it.  It's really good.  I'm totally surprised.  And I finished it about 25 minutes ago but my body feels that fullness that you get when you stuff yourself with restaurant breakfasts. I am stuffed.  No wonder people can do this as a meal replacement.  Thank God for being full.  My fear has diminished significantly.

Now I get to plan an awesome lunch, and somehow work up an appetite by then.  Amazing.

Starting Stats

It's 10am and I just woke up.Yesterday I didn't take the ritalin at all (and purposefully didn't drive) so I could start trying to get used to life without it.  Life without it sucks.   I was in bed all day with the intention of getting a computer project worked on.  I opened the program at 8am and did not type my first word until 6pm.  I got side-tracked with facebook, blogging, getting up (frequently) to eat snacks, browsing, and creating big new projects for myself that really don't need to be created right now.  It was chaos.  Lethargic chaos, because I literally did 12 hours in bed with my laptop, save a few hundred strolls to the kitchen.  I was hungry all day long, but I knew I had had plenty of calories by mid afternoon- it felt like I was eating and none of the food that had already been ingested mattered.  I'm remembering that THIS is pretty much me without ritalin- hungry ALL THE TIME, my mind running in circles, and my body not wanting to move.

I don't know if I actually have ADD.  When my doctor suggested it as a possibility, he also suggested a handful of other possibilities, but we tried ritalin first and the stimulant gave me such a nice kick that I think it "masked" what might really be going on, which I have a feeling is more physiological (hormones or blood sugar issues maybe- my last blood test had dangerously low blood sugar numbers) than mental.  But I was LOSING WEIGHT, so I wasn't about to stop the miracle drug and try to find another solution.  ADD it was!

It's about 10am now and I just woke up.  I knew I'd probably sleep more the first day off of it, but I didn't know I'd wake up so groggy.  I feel awful; thank God I don't have anything really big planned for today, it might have to be another one of those days.

So, I'm ritalin-free, and today I start my 14-day cleanse.  2 shakes and a giant lunch (or a few small meals, haven't decided yet).

I had a picture taken last night in my Guess jeans that I bought at the end of last summer, at my thinnest point.  I was happy that I could even get them on after New York, I stopped being able to pull them on at all sometime around October of last year.  They're on in the pic, but I can't move around too much in them yet.  My hope is that they might actually fit properly after all of this.  Clearly, I wasn't in the best mood for this photo

I might be posting multiple times a day in this blog at least while I get started with the meal plan.  Day One, here I come...