Starting Stats

It's 10am and I just woke up.Yesterday I didn't take the ritalin at all (and purposefully didn't drive) so I could start trying to get used to life without it.  Life without it sucks.   I was in bed all day with the intention of getting a computer project worked on.  I opened the program at 8am and did not type my first word until 6pm.  I got side-tracked with facebook, blogging, getting up (frequently) to eat snacks, browsing, and creating big new projects for myself that really don't need to be created right now.  It was chaos.  Lethargic chaos, because I literally did 12 hours in bed with my laptop, save a few hundred strolls to the kitchen.  I was hungry all day long, but I knew I had had plenty of calories by mid afternoon- it felt like I was eating and none of the food that had already been ingested mattered.  I'm remembering that THIS is pretty much me without ritalin- hungry ALL THE TIME, my mind running in circles, and my body not wanting to move.

I don't know if I actually have ADD.  When my doctor suggested it as a possibility, he also suggested a handful of other possibilities, but we tried ritalin first and the stimulant gave me such a nice kick that I think it "masked" what might really be going on, which I have a feeling is more physiological (hormones or blood sugar issues maybe- my last blood test had dangerously low blood sugar numbers) than mental.  But I was LOSING WEIGHT, so I wasn't about to stop the miracle drug and try to find another solution.  ADD it was!

It's about 10am now and I just woke up.  I knew I'd probably sleep more the first day off of it, but I didn't know I'd wake up so groggy.  I feel awful; thank God I don't have anything really big planned for today, it might have to be another one of those days.

So, I'm ritalin-free, and today I start my 14-day cleanse.  2 shakes and a giant lunch (or a few small meals, haven't decided yet).

I had a picture taken last night in my Guess jeans that I bought at the end of last summer, at my thinnest point.  I was happy that I could even get them on after New York, I stopped being able to pull them on at all sometime around October of last year.  They're on in the pic, but I can't move around too much in them yet.  My hope is that they might actually fit properly after all of this.  Clearly, I wasn't in the best mood for this photo

I might be posting multiple times a day in this blog at least while I get started with the meal plan.  Day One, here I come...